The Honour Student, The Fingerprints, The Truth

Post #1: Old Habits Die Hard - Connect the Dots Series

Yesterday I announced the launch of my new Blog Series called Connect the Dots. I shared how this is a strategy I'll be employing to ensure discipline and focus on my goals (Inspiration, Authenticity, Abundance) and life theme (What Really Matters) for 2010. Finally, I spoke to the evaluative measures of Honesty, Awareness and Responsibility to examine all thoughts, words and actions in my life (my own and those of others) as to whether or not they support my 2010 goals and life theme.

In Old Habits Die Hard, I'll be shining the light on all the things I find myself doing to avoid focussing on What Really Matters - and applying assessment techniques to uncover blocks and to work through the resistance that may come at the hands of unexpected circumstances, push-back from others, doubt and insecurity: in short, I'll be connecting the dots to goal attainment. Ready?

I find when I'm in a place of 'not knowing', I slip into something more comfortable. To deal with the fact that I feel somewhat incompetent, I'll revert to an aspect of myself that has achieved mastery in some way. For the purposes of this blog post, I'll be refering to that aspect of myself as the Honour Student.

I love to learn new things. I used to love the entire process of learning, now as I get a bit older and have so many other people to look out for in addition to myself, I mostly love the reward of learning ... the new knowledge I acquire as a result.

This is mostly a good thing - though I've noticed over the years that I need to pay attention for the subtle shift learning can take into 'avoiding': as in 'I'm not ready to face this new task before me so I'll keep reading, sourcing, note-taking, networking and hiding from it as long as I can. It struck me yesterday that I may have transitioned from learning to avoiding - and if so, then this had to be dealt with.

As I faced the fact that I may be exhibiting avoiding and hiding behaviour - I looked around me and realized that my sole focus of 2010 goals had contributed to an over all decline in the inner state of my house. A good cleaning was in order and I resolved to clean, organize and tidy so at the very least, my environment would be pleasing. While following up on that resolve earlier today - I encountered a clue to my avoiding and hiding behaviour. I'll call this clue the Fingerprints.

First, let's examine the Honour Student under the scope of Honesty. Yes, I have reached a point where I'm ready to take action on aspects of my 2010 goals ~ and yes, I'm starting to become a blog-a, webinar-a, report-a, holic. The learning itself is all extremely valuable - but the motivation behind it, in some cases, is becoming detrimental ~ so, I must now ask myself if I'm engaging in the reading of blogs, participation of webinars and assessment of reports to move forward in what really matters - or to buy more time. I started this new assessing this morning and will commit to it with Integrity.

Second, the Fingerprints. I have spent so much time crafting, assessing and learning over the last few weeks that I've neglected other responsibilities and to me, this is unacceptable - and also, unnecessary. After all, if I cannot maintain - or delegate maintenance - of basics like meal planning and housework ... am I really committing to what matters? No. So - I will stop compartmentalizing aspects of my life and deal with the all of it as a whole.

What does this all mean? Well - as I went up to bed last night, feeling a little deflated and disappointed in my lack of progress, I took with me a book by Seth Godin titled The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When To Quit (And When To Stick). Funny enough, in addition to the goals I've shared with you - I'm seriously contemplating adding 'Read A Book A Week' to the list (thanks to a post I read by Julien Smith) - and I decided to start with Seth Godin's The Dip because it was recommended by both Julien Smith and Chris Brogan in separate blog posts, it's only 76 pages long and I've only got a few more days left in this first week of the year and the content matter seemed timely.

I'm half-way through, and the message speaking to me loudest so far is that those who succeed in their goal attainment are those who give it their best - and there really isn't a whole lot of room at the top where 'the best' resides, so if you're not going to apply the effort and energy to be the best ... get out of the game. I know this already - and there are areas of my life where I've worked through 'the Dip' and I am recognized as a trusted expert/specialist amongst others. So why then am I struggling so hard right now with this life transition? Is it possible that I don't want it enough?

The second awareness came this morning while I was cleaning the house. We still have a dining room table from the 80's that is made of glass. (I know, I know - we use it more as a 'homework area' and will update our furniture when we have two incomes coming in again -- which brings me back to the goals.) There were fingerprints everywhere. After windexing and applying significant elbow grease -- the table STILL was not clean. I then realized that the fingerprints weren't actually on the surface, but were instead underneath.

Did you catch that? It took me a minute - and then it hit me hard: the reason I'm feeling so stuck is not apparent on the surface ~ it is instead underneath. I need to dig a little deeper and be honest about why I'm holding back. I need to determine why I don't want this enough. Wow.

So that's how I spent the remaining time with my Self and my cleaning arsenal -- examining aspects of my goals that has caused me to avoid and hide from them. Here they are: I'm not capable of marketing myself in the traditional ways. I think one of the main reasons I feel connected to Scott Stratten (unmarketing) is because in his blogs and twitter tweets I see my own belief system reflected - I desire to move forward on the strength of relationships and trust -- letting my gifts and offering speak for themselves and become in-demand vs. telling the world how much they need me. This has worked for me my entire life as a 'strategy' ... I need to get back on track with what works for me and separates me from others who have similar skill sets and abilities.

Let me tell you - nothing beats the Relief Rush that comes from facing Truth and aligning with it.

So, I now face my goals and life theme with a fresh perspective - I can achieve my goals on my own terms and be the magnet that attracts those who will benefit from what I have to offer based solely on my desire to serve in a meaningful way. I've done this before - I'm now prepared to battle 'the Dip' and do it again.

Whew! (Thanks for reading this all the way through. I will try not to use so many words going forward.)

What dots did you connect today?