Delete-ly delirious and loving it ...

I am about to spend a good deal of time with my Delete key; both literally and figuratively.

Last week, I invested time, energy and reflection to creating a Life Theme (or Life Goals) for 2010. I've identified three key values and three additional supporting values that will not only direct much of my decision making going forward for the next 12 months ~ but will also serve as evaluative measures when it comes time to assessing progress and determining what can stay and what must go to ensure my Life Goals are realized.

This felt great - until today. I took 2 days off of the computer and Internet, only to return to two email Inboxes with more new messages than I knew what to do with - it was overwhelming to say the least. At first, I felt very grateful to be so connected that the Inboxes were at no risk of starvation any time soon. I then started to feel fatigued as I progressed through the silent calls for my attention. As I dutifully went through them one at a time, I realized why: as I was preparing myself to advance to greater levels of being - I had done nothing to release or detach myself from past duties and obligations that no longer interest me, serve me or allow me to become of greater service to others.

This is always the hard part of Change for me - having to let those who have no interest in my 'moving on' know that circumstances have changed and certain responsibilities that I've shouldered for the convenience of others are no longer mine to carry and must, therefore, be delegated elsewhere. It's hard standing up to the expectations of another, fully aware that your personal growth inconveniences them and will therefore be met with resistance and push-back.

It gets easier with practice ... but the initial sense of disappointment you feel with yourself for choosing not to 'do it all' any longer is a difficult river to cross. However, goals and objectives mindfully considered and purposefully stated deserve attention, focus and respect whether they are yours or someone else's. In fact, your own are arguably more important as they are directly linked to the well-being of those you care about and love most. A betrayal of the Self is a betrayal like any other ~ and I keep this in mind whenever I find myself at the crossroads of Purge-For-Progress and Carry-It-All-Depleted.

My Inboxes reminded me of this today. I'm receiving e-zines and newsletters from sites that supported the role I've played up to this point - but that don't really have a place in where I'm headed next. When I'm honest with myself, I admit that I'm one step away from creating a folder where I'll hide them to avoid deleting them but will likely never go back to actually read them. That's a poor investment of time. So - over the next few weeks ... I'll be Unsubscribing where possible and slowly but diligently going about the business of releasing email that is no longer relevant to me.

I'll be doing this with my Time too. I've been carefully observing how I spend my time lately - and I've targetted areas for improvement and efficiency. And sadly, I'm now zooming the lens to identify aspects of my day that no longer deserve my attention at all. This is easier to do now that I have goals and a life theme to measure my time against -- but difficult for someone who takes great pride in all I've ever done for myself and others, becoming attached in a perhaps unhealthy way to the inability to recognize when our time together needs to end.

So - in addition to getting my head around the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I've done nothing yet to prepare for it ~ I will also be flexing my Efficiency Muscles and ensuring that the goals and life themes I've selected for 2010 are effectively supported by the activities and responsibilities in which I choose to invest my time.

In short, I'm about to go Delete-ly Delirious.

How about you? Do you have your priorities set for 2010? And do you struggle with releasing responsibilities that are no longer yours to shoulder - but are maybe expected from you anyway?

Are your answers hiding right out in the open?

As I've mentioned a few times already, I'm investing energy in the creation of a Business Plan for 2010 right now. My passion is intact, my desire completely present, the time is most definitely Now - and yet ... my Vision has been frustratingly blurry, if not downright blocked.

This 'blindness' has been upsetting me - never before has something of such magnitude eluded my Intelligence, Creativity, Resourcefulness and Intuition for so long. Seriously, I've been doing an inner "AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH" for months now - and in more dedicated a fashion for the last few weeks.

I know Hurdles Happen - so I've continued on in spite of the fact that the biggest key to the planning, the HOW, has chosen to present itself in an annoyingly opaque fashion. I've clarified my Top 6 Values for 2010, my Life Theme for 2010 as it will relate in the areas of my Self, my Family and my Career - and I've put goals to each of these priority factors as well. And STILL I couldn't see the HOW; the delivery mechanism/vehicle that was going to ensure that I achieve the objectives I've set out for myself.

So, I walked away. I shovelled the driveway (Holy Heavy Snow Batman - OUCH!!), started laundry, tidied up, returned a few emails, and pointedly avoided enticing distractions like Facebook and Twitter because I was determined to outwit, outsmart and outplay the foundation of my 2010 plans.

It worked! As I was setting up my working area (lit candle, clear space, glass of water, laptop) - I felt a need to surround myself in the beauty of Christmas Carols. The Christmas Cannon by Trans Siberian Orchestra was playing when I turned the music on. I really love just about everything this group performs - and I particularly love this piece. It fills my heart to bursting and I swell with emotion.

I started to reflect on what specifically I like about this piece so much - and there it was, the answer I've been seeking for so long was serenading me in all its colourful, harmonious glory; I now hold the key and am now in complete control of what I'll choose to unlock as a result.

I love the beauty of the Christmas Canon. I love how there are moments where the focus is on one distinctive and wondrous voice or sound - and then other voices/sounds build upon this, enriching the experience while each individual sound is still there, blending in harmony - each with the ability to take you away in your own journey of delight and all headed together in the same direction to the same end, in the way that works best for the gifts and talents of the individuals involved.

I started remembering when I used to sing in school choirs - how my favourite pieces were harmonies and rounds - where you're all singing the same song, but not necessarily the same parts at the same time - and how somehow, magic is created as the harmonies lead you to the same end, together.

I have resisted forward movement on my 'next career' because I'm not comfortable being a leader, being out in front, being the limelight that shifts the focus from everyone else involved. Having leadership qualities and abilities does not necessarily mean that a leader you must be. At least, not in the way that it is typically done.

I do not desire to work alone. Rather than stand in the light - I'd like to be the Light Shiner - the one that recognizes, encourages, perhaps even inspires great personal moments and actions in the lives of others and then shines the light upon them so they know that they're not alone, that light exists, that a voice is out there expressing its Truth and could use some harmony and layers of enrichment to fill the tune with emotional and musical colours.

I desire to sing in harmony, in a range where the full force of my power can be experienced and identified in amongst the power, experience and vocal ranges of those who are willing to work alongside me. I belong in a partnership or a group or a team - contributing, leading from the side or the back, providing meaning and significance every step of the way. And the gifts I will bring to the team are Personal Growth, Authenticity, Inspiration and a Sense of Humour. Laughing is important.

The moral of this story is this: answers are always given to those who ask the questions - and all we have to do is be open to receiving them, and to remember that they don't always arrive via telephone or email.

I'd also like to front a rock band - but that's another dream for another year. (Or is it?)

Can you be the space where true love thrives?

Few roles are as sacred as the one we create after birthing a child. With great love and respect, I offer this to parents everywhere. Your function is sacred - may peace be yours ...

Do You Show Up

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