I am about to spend a good deal of time with my Delete key; both literally and figuratively.Last week, I invested time, energy and reflection to creating a Life Theme (or Life Goals) for 2010. I've identified three key values and three additional supporting values that will not only direct much of my decision making going forward for the next 12 months ~ but will also serve as evaluative measures when it comes time to assessing progress and determining what can stay and what must go to ensure my Life Goals are realized.
This felt great - until today. I took 2 days off of the computer and Internet, only to return to two email Inboxes with more new messages than I knew what to do with - it was overwhelming to say the least. At first, I felt very grateful to be so connected that the Inboxes were at no risk of starvation any time soon. I then started to feel fatigued as I progressed through the silent calls for my attention. As I dutifully went through them one at a time, I realized why: as I was preparing myself to advance to greater levels of being - I had done nothing to release or detach myself from past duties and obligations that no longer interest me, serve me or allow me to become of greater service to others.
This is always the hard part of Change for me - having to let those who have no interest in my 'moving on' know that circumstances have changed and certain responsibilities that I've shouldered for the convenience of others are no longer mine to carry and must, therefore, be delegated elsewhere. It's hard standing up to the expectations of another, fully aware that your personal growth inconveniences them and will therefore be met with resistance and push-back.
It gets easier with practice ... but the initial sense of disappointment you feel with yourself for choosing not to 'do it all' any longer is a difficult river to cross. However, goals and objectives mindfully considered and purposefully stated deserve attention, focus and respect whether they are yours or someone else's. In fact, your own are arguably more important as they are directly linked to the well-being of those you care about and love most. A betrayal of the Self is a betrayal like any other ~ and I keep this in mind whenever I find myself at the crossroads of Purge-For-Progress and Carry-It-All-Depleted.
My Inboxes reminded me of this today. I'm receiving e-zines and newsletters from sites that supported the role I've played up to this point - but that don't really have a place in where I'm headed next. When I'm honest with myself, I admit that I'm one step away from creating a folder where I'll hide them to avoid deleting them but will likely never go back to actually read them. That's a poor investment of time. So - over the next few weeks ... I'll be Unsubscribing where possible and slowly but diligently going about the business of releasing email that is no longer relevant to me.
I'll be doing this with my Time too. I've been carefully observing how I spend my time lately - and I've targetted areas for improvement and efficiency. And sadly, I'm now zooming the lens to identify aspects of my day that no longer deserve my attention at all. This is easier to do now that I have goals and a life theme to measure my time against -- but difficult for someone who takes great pride in all I've ever done for myself and others, becoming attached in a perhaps unhealthy way to the inability to recognize when our time together needs to end.
So - in addition to getting my head around the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I've done nothing yet to prepare for it ~ I will also be flexing my Efficiency Muscles and ensuring that the goals and life themes I've selected for 2010 are effectively supported by the activities and responsibilities in which I choose to invest my time.
In short, I'm about to go Delete-ly Delirious.
How about you? Do you have your priorities set for 2010? And do you struggle with releasing responsibilities that are no longer yours to shoulder - but are maybe expected from you anyway?
5 comments:
sighh yup to the question ans still cleaning the house yes STILL!!!! Great, great, post Sally
Diva
I don't envy you Diva -- in fact, I'm fairly certain I'd have moved to the 'I don't really need this anymore, I'm throwing it away' stage long before now. Your tenacity is impressive! And - thank you for the compliment too ...
Your posts always inspire me and serve as a buoy to my dreams (whether they are still trapped in my unconscious or fully realized). Thank you and have fun with that Delete key!!
Like you, I've got things in my in box that I no longer need. Sometimes I toss them and sometimes I look for things that catch my interest, too. PNN can be my hobby for one hour a day of downtime, writing not included. I write to make myself a better writer. That said, I'm careful not to drop PEOPLE because they have feelings. There are times I would like to delete conversations in my life, and I have been known to reach for the mute button a time or two when Youngest is practicing on the piano. (Some of the songs he practices have terrible versions!) Provacative thinking here, Sally!
People do have feelings, you're so right. There was a time when I did have to take a serious look at who I had chosen to surround myself with though - gossips, takers, complainers, etc. There is such a low energy there and those actions really serve no one in the end. I'm so much better at choosing who to allow in to my life ~ and to a person, they somehow inspire me to be a better person. I'm grateful for the courage and discipline it took to do that.
I've got a lot of subscriptions to education-related materials that I can now unsubscribe to. I know where to find this information should I ever need it - it's time for me to fill my head with learning in a new genre, something that will enrich who I will be in 2010 and beyond.
Always wonderful to chat with you wearmanyhats ...
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