Are your answers hiding right out in the open?

As I've mentioned a few times already, I'm investing energy in the creation of a Business Plan for 2010 right now. My passion is intact, my desire completely present, the time is most definitely Now - and yet ... my Vision has been frustratingly blurry, if not downright blocked.

This 'blindness' has been upsetting me - never before has something of such magnitude eluded my Intelligence, Creativity, Resourcefulness and Intuition for so long. Seriously, I've been doing an inner "AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH" for months now - and in more dedicated a fashion for the last few weeks.

I know Hurdles Happen - so I've continued on in spite of the fact that the biggest key to the planning, the HOW, has chosen to present itself in an annoyingly opaque fashion. I've clarified my Top 6 Values for 2010, my Life Theme for 2010 as it will relate in the areas of my Self, my Family and my Career - and I've put goals to each of these priority factors as well. And STILL I couldn't see the HOW; the delivery mechanism/vehicle that was going to ensure that I achieve the objectives I've set out for myself.

So, I walked away. I shovelled the driveway (Holy Heavy Snow Batman - OUCH!!), started laundry, tidied up, returned a few emails, and pointedly avoided enticing distractions like Facebook and Twitter because I was determined to outwit, outsmart and outplay the foundation of my 2010 plans.

It worked! As I was setting up my working area (lit candle, clear space, glass of water, laptop) - I felt a need to surround myself in the beauty of Christmas Carols. The Christmas Cannon by Trans Siberian Orchestra was playing when I turned the music on. I really love just about everything this group performs - and I particularly love this piece. It fills my heart to bursting and I swell with emotion.

I started to reflect on what specifically I like about this piece so much - and there it was, the answer I've been seeking for so long was serenading me in all its colourful, harmonious glory; I now hold the key and am now in complete control of what I'll choose to unlock as a result.

I love the beauty of the Christmas Canon. I love how there are moments where the focus is on one distinctive and wondrous voice or sound - and then other voices/sounds build upon this, enriching the experience while each individual sound is still there, blending in harmony - each with the ability to take you away in your own journey of delight and all headed together in the same direction to the same end, in the way that works best for the gifts and talents of the individuals involved.

I started remembering when I used to sing in school choirs - how my favourite pieces were harmonies and rounds - where you're all singing the same song, but not necessarily the same parts at the same time - and how somehow, magic is created as the harmonies lead you to the same end, together.

I have resisted forward movement on my 'next career' because I'm not comfortable being a leader, being out in front, being the limelight that shifts the focus from everyone else involved. Having leadership qualities and abilities does not necessarily mean that a leader you must be. At least, not in the way that it is typically done.

I do not desire to work alone. Rather than stand in the light - I'd like to be the Light Shiner - the one that recognizes, encourages, perhaps even inspires great personal moments and actions in the lives of others and then shines the light upon them so they know that they're not alone, that light exists, that a voice is out there expressing its Truth and could use some harmony and layers of enrichment to fill the tune with emotional and musical colours.

I desire to sing in harmony, in a range where the full force of my power can be experienced and identified in amongst the power, experience and vocal ranges of those who are willing to work alongside me. I belong in a partnership or a group or a team - contributing, leading from the side or the back, providing meaning and significance every step of the way. And the gifts I will bring to the team are Personal Growth, Authenticity, Inspiration and a Sense of Humour. Laughing is important.

The moral of this story is this: answers are always given to those who ask the questions - and all we have to do is be open to receiving them, and to remember that they don't always arrive via telephone or email.

I'd also like to front a rock band - but that's another dream for another year. (Or is it?)