The Honour Student, The Fingerprints, The Truth

Post #1: Old Habits Die Hard - Connect the Dots Series

Yesterday I announced the launch of my new Blog Series called Connect the Dots. I shared how this is a strategy I'll be employing to ensure discipline and focus on my goals (Inspiration, Authenticity, Abundance) and life theme (What Really Matters) for 2010. Finally, I spoke to the evaluative measures of Honesty, Awareness and Responsibility to examine all thoughts, words and actions in my life (my own and those of others) as to whether or not they support my 2010 goals and life theme.

In Old Habits Die Hard, I'll be shining the light on all the things I find myself doing to avoid focussing on What Really Matters - and applying assessment techniques to uncover blocks and to work through the resistance that may come at the hands of unexpected circumstances, push-back from others, doubt and insecurity: in short, I'll be connecting the dots to goal attainment. Ready?

I find when I'm in a place of 'not knowing', I slip into something more comfortable. To deal with the fact that I feel somewhat incompetent, I'll revert to an aspect of myself that has achieved mastery in some way. For the purposes of this blog post, I'll be refering to that aspect of myself as the Honour Student.

I love to learn new things. I used to love the entire process of learning, now as I get a bit older and have so many other people to look out for in addition to myself, I mostly love the reward of learning ... the new knowledge I acquire as a result.

This is mostly a good thing - though I've noticed over the years that I need to pay attention for the subtle shift learning can take into 'avoiding': as in 'I'm not ready to face this new task before me so I'll keep reading, sourcing, note-taking, networking and hiding from it as long as I can. It struck me yesterday that I may have transitioned from learning to avoiding - and if so, then this had to be dealt with.

As I faced the fact that I may be exhibiting avoiding and hiding behaviour - I looked around me and realized that my sole focus of 2010 goals had contributed to an over all decline in the inner state of my house. A good cleaning was in order and I resolved to clean, organize and tidy so at the very least, my environment would be pleasing. While following up on that resolve earlier today - I encountered a clue to my avoiding and hiding behaviour. I'll call this clue the Fingerprints.

First, let's examine the Honour Student under the scope of Honesty. Yes, I have reached a point where I'm ready to take action on aspects of my 2010 goals ~ and yes, I'm starting to become a blog-a, webinar-a, report-a, holic. The learning itself is all extremely valuable - but the motivation behind it, in some cases, is becoming detrimental ~ so, I must now ask myself if I'm engaging in the reading of blogs, participation of webinars and assessment of reports to move forward in what really matters - or to buy more time. I started this new assessing this morning and will commit to it with Integrity.

Second, the Fingerprints. I have spent so much time crafting, assessing and learning over the last few weeks that I've neglected other responsibilities and to me, this is unacceptable - and also, unnecessary. After all, if I cannot maintain - or delegate maintenance - of basics like meal planning and housework ... am I really committing to what matters? No. So - I will stop compartmentalizing aspects of my life and deal with the all of it as a whole.

What does this all mean? Well - as I went up to bed last night, feeling a little deflated and disappointed in my lack of progress, I took with me a book by Seth Godin titled The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When To Quit (And When To Stick). Funny enough, in addition to the goals I've shared with you - I'm seriously contemplating adding 'Read A Book A Week' to the list (thanks to a post I read by Julien Smith) - and I decided to start with Seth Godin's The Dip because it was recommended by both Julien Smith and Chris Brogan in separate blog posts, it's only 76 pages long and I've only got a few more days left in this first week of the year and the content matter seemed timely.

I'm half-way through, and the message speaking to me loudest so far is that those who succeed in their goal attainment are those who give it their best - and there really isn't a whole lot of room at the top where 'the best' resides, so if you're not going to apply the effort and energy to be the best ... get out of the game. I know this already - and there are areas of my life where I've worked through 'the Dip' and I am recognized as a trusted expert/specialist amongst others. So why then am I struggling so hard right now with this life transition? Is it possible that I don't want it enough?

The second awareness came this morning while I was cleaning the house. We still have a dining room table from the 80's that is made of glass. (I know, I know - we use it more as a 'homework area' and will update our furniture when we have two incomes coming in again -- which brings me back to the goals.) There were fingerprints everywhere. After windexing and applying significant elbow grease -- the table STILL was not clean. I then realized that the fingerprints weren't actually on the surface, but were instead underneath.

Did you catch that? It took me a minute - and then it hit me hard: the reason I'm feeling so stuck is not apparent on the surface ~ it is instead underneath. I need to dig a little deeper and be honest about why I'm holding back. I need to determine why I don't want this enough. Wow.

So that's how I spent the remaining time with my Self and my cleaning arsenal -- examining aspects of my goals that has caused me to avoid and hide from them. Here they are: I'm not capable of marketing myself in the traditional ways. I think one of the main reasons I feel connected to Scott Stratten (unmarketing) is because in his blogs and twitter tweets I see my own belief system reflected - I desire to move forward on the strength of relationships and trust -- letting my gifts and offering speak for themselves and become in-demand vs. telling the world how much they need me. This has worked for me my entire life as a 'strategy' ... I need to get back on track with what works for me and separates me from others who have similar skill sets and abilities.

Let me tell you - nothing beats the Relief Rush that comes from facing Truth and aligning with it.

So, I now face my goals and life theme with a fresh perspective - I can achieve my goals on my own terms and be the magnet that attracts those who will benefit from what I have to offer based solely on my desire to serve in a meaningful way. I've done this before - I'm now prepared to battle 'the Dip' and do it again.

Whew! (Thanks for reading this all the way through. I will try not to use so many words going forward.)

What dots did you connect today?

In 2010 I will Connect the Dots - Will you join me?

I have been blessed with a very good life. I work hard at everything I set my mind to and I have a lot to show for that.

2009 was a transitional year for me. I spent the year adjusting to the fact that Change was necessary or stagnation would dictate a downward spiral from which recovery would be difficult.

Whether it's my age/stage in life, the fact that I've been out of the 'professional stream' for so many years, or just basic fear of the unknown - this life transition is proving very difficult for me.

I am a walking gift set in so many areas with proven results in a variety of fields, including Communications, Marketing, Writing, Training/Development and Data Mining/Resourcing. In addition to the professional skills required for any initiative I choose to launch - I have a myriad of abilities that don't always appear on resumes, like: reliable and accurate intuition, keen insight and perception, and an ability to see the truth or issue through the overlays of drama or emotion that may be cloaking it. In fact, it is these abilities that will lead my manifestation for 2010 - and therein lies the mire in which I'm stuck.

What I desire to do with my life going forward is to help people Connect the Dots. We all dwell in this big picture that is our life ~ but what we don't always do so well is to recognize key events or experiences that can get lost amongst all the other events and experiences that populate our days, weeks, months and years.

We aren't always exactly clear about our own Truths or Values vs. those that belong to people we're aiming to please, serve or work for. And if we are clear about our own Truths and Values - we don't always give them the priority and power in decision making that would bring more meaning, integrity and authenticity to our lives.

As a result, we sometimes find ourselves operating on 'automatic pilot' - getting things done without actually ever 'showing up' to do it. And when this gets to a level of discomfort that can no longer be ignored - we may be at a loss in determining what exactly to do about it. Where to start? How to change?

So, that's where I am now - standing on my path with Enthusiasm and Commitment, looking at the signposts of Where To Start and How To Change - - and not moving anywhere at all. I've targetted key words to keep busy and stimulate action - they are Discipline, Honesty, Awareness and Responsibility. As you'll see from the graphic I've created - these are now the boundaries and parameters of my next best me. In 2010, all thoughts, words and actions (my own and those of others) will be assessed with Discipline, Honesty, Awareness and Responsibility before they'll be allowed access into My Life.

The Assessment and Evaluative Measurement Tool I'll be using: Does this thought, word and/or action support and animate my life theme for 2010 - Honouring What Really Matters with Inspiration, Authenticity and Abundance.

That's as far as I've gotten thus far. I have taken time to list specific measures for Inspiration, Authenticity and Abundance so that I'm clear what that looks like to me as I apply Honesty, Awareness and Responsibility with Discipline during my assessment. I'll be charting this out shortly and I will post the results in a subsequent blog post.

I have decided that themed blog posts make more sense going forward than the random stream of consciousness writing I've indulged in to-date. One of my goals for 2010 is to grow a readership following both here at Spinning With Spirit and also on the Caring Creates Fan Page. To earn a dedicated readership, I recognize that I must provide information of interest ~ I am committed to giving that my best effort and do hope you'll sign up as a Follower or a Fan if you like, or can benefit, from the information I will share. I'd also be grateful if you would pass either or both of these sites mentioned on to people in your life who you feel might benefit from the information too.

I have really struggled with how to make my offering clear to the world at large. We are all familiar with the game of Connect the Dots - but if someone presented themselves to you as a Dot Connector, would that mean anything at all? I've sat in the web of this challenge for too long now ~ so, I've decided to take action in the following ways:

1. I'm going to document the life of a Dot Connector (me) in an ongoing Blog Series throughout 2010. And if it doesn't take a whole year to cover all the sub-headings and topics I encounter along the way -- then I'll create a blog series about something else that will be of meaning or value to those who read my work and follow my progress.

I'm considering this blog post as my Introduction - the first installment will be titled Old Habits Die Hard and its purpose will be to shine the light on all the things I'll do to avoid focussing on What Really Matters - and Working Through the Resistance that will come at the hands of unexpected circumstances, push-back from others, doubt and insecurity.

2. I'll dedicate significant time and energy this month to clarifying my business focus with the help of two wonderful women I've met online. Tonight marks the beginning of a two week Soulful Business Planning process with Lisa Hines. I'm very excited about that.

I've also signed up to receive a 30 Days to Change Your Game Blog Series hosted by Sarah Robinson at Escaping Mediocrity.

3. I've turned up the dials on Self-Discipline, Personal Responsibility, Honesty and Awareness so that my effectiveness can run parallel to my capacity and ability.

I'll gratefully accept all the support and feedback I find along the way. It is my hope that in Living Open this way, others will find me on their paths and we can perhaps walk together when our challenges are similar and when we've each got something of value to share with the other to ensure all end goals are realized.

I'd love to know - are you in a similar place yourself right now? Please leave a comment and tell me about it if you are ...

Delete-ly delirious and loving it ...

I am about to spend a good deal of time with my Delete key; both literally and figuratively.

Last week, I invested time, energy and reflection to creating a Life Theme (or Life Goals) for 2010. I've identified three key values and three additional supporting values that will not only direct much of my decision making going forward for the next 12 months ~ but will also serve as evaluative measures when it comes time to assessing progress and determining what can stay and what must go to ensure my Life Goals are realized.

This felt great - until today. I took 2 days off of the computer and Internet, only to return to two email Inboxes with more new messages than I knew what to do with - it was overwhelming to say the least. At first, I felt very grateful to be so connected that the Inboxes were at no risk of starvation any time soon. I then started to feel fatigued as I progressed through the silent calls for my attention. As I dutifully went through them one at a time, I realized why: as I was preparing myself to advance to greater levels of being - I had done nothing to release or detach myself from past duties and obligations that no longer interest me, serve me or allow me to become of greater service to others.

This is always the hard part of Change for me - having to let those who have no interest in my 'moving on' know that circumstances have changed and certain responsibilities that I've shouldered for the convenience of others are no longer mine to carry and must, therefore, be delegated elsewhere. It's hard standing up to the expectations of another, fully aware that your personal growth inconveniences them and will therefore be met with resistance and push-back.

It gets easier with practice ... but the initial sense of disappointment you feel with yourself for choosing not to 'do it all' any longer is a difficult river to cross. However, goals and objectives mindfully considered and purposefully stated deserve attention, focus and respect whether they are yours or someone else's. In fact, your own are arguably more important as they are directly linked to the well-being of those you care about and love most. A betrayal of the Self is a betrayal like any other ~ and I keep this in mind whenever I find myself at the crossroads of Purge-For-Progress and Carry-It-All-Depleted.

My Inboxes reminded me of this today. I'm receiving e-zines and newsletters from sites that supported the role I've played up to this point - but that don't really have a place in where I'm headed next. When I'm honest with myself, I admit that I'm one step away from creating a folder where I'll hide them to avoid deleting them but will likely never go back to actually read them. That's a poor investment of time. So - over the next few weeks ... I'll be Unsubscribing where possible and slowly but diligently going about the business of releasing email that is no longer relevant to me.

I'll be doing this with my Time too. I've been carefully observing how I spend my time lately - and I've targetted areas for improvement and efficiency. And sadly, I'm now zooming the lens to identify aspects of my day that no longer deserve my attention at all. This is easier to do now that I have goals and a life theme to measure my time against -- but difficult for someone who takes great pride in all I've ever done for myself and others, becoming attached in a perhaps unhealthy way to the inability to recognize when our time together needs to end.

So - in addition to getting my head around the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I've done nothing yet to prepare for it ~ I will also be flexing my Efficiency Muscles and ensuring that the goals and life themes I've selected for 2010 are effectively supported by the activities and responsibilities in which I choose to invest my time.

In short, I'm about to go Delete-ly Delirious.

How about you? Do you have your priorities set for 2010? And do you struggle with releasing responsibilities that are no longer yours to shoulder - but are maybe expected from you anyway?

Are your answers hiding right out in the open?

As I've mentioned a few times already, I'm investing energy in the creation of a Business Plan for 2010 right now. My passion is intact, my desire completely present, the time is most definitely Now - and yet ... my Vision has been frustratingly blurry, if not downright blocked.

This 'blindness' has been upsetting me - never before has something of such magnitude eluded my Intelligence, Creativity, Resourcefulness and Intuition for so long. Seriously, I've been doing an inner "AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH" for months now - and in more dedicated a fashion for the last few weeks.

I know Hurdles Happen - so I've continued on in spite of the fact that the biggest key to the planning, the HOW, has chosen to present itself in an annoyingly opaque fashion. I've clarified my Top 6 Values for 2010, my Life Theme for 2010 as it will relate in the areas of my Self, my Family and my Career - and I've put goals to each of these priority factors as well. And STILL I couldn't see the HOW; the delivery mechanism/vehicle that was going to ensure that I achieve the objectives I've set out for myself.

So, I walked away. I shovelled the driveway (Holy Heavy Snow Batman - OUCH!!), started laundry, tidied up, returned a few emails, and pointedly avoided enticing distractions like Facebook and Twitter because I was determined to outwit, outsmart and outplay the foundation of my 2010 plans.

It worked! As I was setting up my working area (lit candle, clear space, glass of water, laptop) - I felt a need to surround myself in the beauty of Christmas Carols. The Christmas Cannon by Trans Siberian Orchestra was playing when I turned the music on. I really love just about everything this group performs - and I particularly love this piece. It fills my heart to bursting and I swell with emotion.

I started to reflect on what specifically I like about this piece so much - and there it was, the answer I've been seeking for so long was serenading me in all its colourful, harmonious glory; I now hold the key and am now in complete control of what I'll choose to unlock as a result.

I love the beauty of the Christmas Canon. I love how there are moments where the focus is on one distinctive and wondrous voice or sound - and then other voices/sounds build upon this, enriching the experience while each individual sound is still there, blending in harmony - each with the ability to take you away in your own journey of delight and all headed together in the same direction to the same end, in the way that works best for the gifts and talents of the individuals involved.

I started remembering when I used to sing in school choirs - how my favourite pieces were harmonies and rounds - where you're all singing the same song, but not necessarily the same parts at the same time - and how somehow, magic is created as the harmonies lead you to the same end, together.

I have resisted forward movement on my 'next career' because I'm not comfortable being a leader, being out in front, being the limelight that shifts the focus from everyone else involved. Having leadership qualities and abilities does not necessarily mean that a leader you must be. At least, not in the way that it is typically done.

I do not desire to work alone. Rather than stand in the light - I'd like to be the Light Shiner - the one that recognizes, encourages, perhaps even inspires great personal moments and actions in the lives of others and then shines the light upon them so they know that they're not alone, that light exists, that a voice is out there expressing its Truth and could use some harmony and layers of enrichment to fill the tune with emotional and musical colours.

I desire to sing in harmony, in a range where the full force of my power can be experienced and identified in amongst the power, experience and vocal ranges of those who are willing to work alongside me. I belong in a partnership or a group or a team - contributing, leading from the side or the back, providing meaning and significance every step of the way. And the gifts I will bring to the team are Personal Growth, Authenticity, Inspiration and a Sense of Humour. Laughing is important.

The moral of this story is this: answers are always given to those who ask the questions - and all we have to do is be open to receiving them, and to remember that they don't always arrive via telephone or email.

I'd also like to front a rock band - but that's another dream for another year. (Or is it?)

Can you be the space where true love thrives?

Few roles are as sacred as the one we create after birthing a child. With great love and respect, I offer this to parents everywhere. Your function is sacred - may peace be yours ...

Do You Show Up

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I love fairy lights ...

It's late Sunday afternoon, and I'm feeling pretty grateful - for everything.

I've just returned from a lovely weekend away with my daughters ~ we travelled to visit with friends of ours, friends we haven't seen in 4 months. Driving home earlier today, I thought about how very fortunate I am to be able to plan get-aways like this. Fortunate to have a car, fortunate to have a friend, fortunate to have a lifestyle that means no work on the weekends unless I choose to.

Fortunate to have two daughters whose company I enjoy and who are still willing to travel with me. Fortunate to have appliances that allow me to already have three loads of laundry completed in preparation for tomorrow. Fortunate to have the means and the foresight to have a dinner planned and about to be prepared.

And fortunate to know in the very core of my being that the secret to a life of happiness and a sense of inner peace and balance is the capacity to feel grateful for all that is mine, and to appreciate what may not be mine - but still brings me great joy; like fairy lights, falling rain, blowing wind, laughter, brewing coffee, inspiring people and time alone.

What makes you feel grateful? Sometimes even just thinking about it can make a bad day better.

Put THAT in your bullet and blend it ...

I don’t like fruit. Heaven knows why this is ~ what’s not to like about fruit? Its sweet with pleasing textures and mouth tingling sensations that make the taste buds sing. And yet – eating fruit is a chore for me.

In fact, there are a lot of foods that I eat because of the health benefits they provide; yogurt and flaxseed come immediately to mind.

Imagine my glee when I discovered a kitchen gadget called Magic Bullet! With this wondrous, magical, sleek device – I can put a buffet of food items I’d rather avoid into a see-through container, wrap my hands around its neck – and watch the offensive morsels get pulverized and annihilated with just a little pressure from my upper body, wrists and hands. It’s exhilarating! In fact, there’s only one thing that tops this experience … and that’s the divine concoction that my food aversions transform into.

Honestly – it’s incredible. My hat is off to whomever invented the Fruit Smoothie … ingesting my vitamins and minerals has never been more wonderful! I like to imagine this delicious libation was birthed in the throes of somebody’s fridge-rage.

“Why doesn’t anyone eat this fruit before it goes bad? And look, the yogurt expires today! And why am I the ONLY one eating ground flaxseed? Do you people think money grows on trees? I’m so sick of wasting food like this …” And all amidst a mad flurry of smashing and splurting and squishing left-overs that went in with negativity and came out with more benefits than I care to list at this time.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a Magic Bullet for our pain? Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could take hurtful experiences, moments in time we wish we could take back, toxic people and other black energy – toss them into a see-through container and, with the slightest of pressure … watch them get pulverized and annihilated before our very eyes?

And wouldn’t it be great if this concoction transformed into something meaningful and beneficial with more benefits than you’d probably be able to list in one sitting?

Think back on a bad experience for which you are now grateful. Maybe because it taught you something. Maybe because it prepared you for someone. Maybe because it made space for a miracle that you would have missed otherwise. And celebrate your creative genius – your masterful ability to move through the pain or the hurt or the shame to create a grander version of the greatest vision you are right here, right now.

And know that no matter what faces you ~ you can be the space for it to exist and you can blend it into the cocktail that is your life - with meaning, and flavour and heart health.

You are the Magic Bullet .. and you are awesome!